I'm willing to come apart to discover who I am.
I won’t always be smilling but I will always be real. Today has been tough but I am grateful for that. Another layer removed. I have learned that when it comes to removing the bandaid from a ...life time of wounds (mostly self inflicted I must add) that is works better to peel it off slowly and carefully than to rip it off, which from past experience has only caused more pain and self pity. Self discovery feels a bit like a renovating project. It is so messy that sometimes I wish I had not started in the first place but I keep going because It feels so good to throw away that old faux oak veneer, to trash the plastic chandelier and light a candle instead, though sometimes it’s very dark in here. It’s like discovering beautiful hardwood floors underneath dusty old carpet and polishing them until they shine. It is a slow slow slow process but I think it is worth the time it takes (and it will likely be a life time) to do it thoughtfully, thoroughly and patiently. I get to choose the colours and they are going to be bright! And I really look forward to the house warming party when all my friends can come celebrate with me. Loving my home, body, mind and soul.